Wednesday, April 27, 2011


We live, then we die. We make no real impact on the world; just those around us, particularly our family. In 200 years from now, the only people who will even know or care that I existed will be my great great grandchildren (hopefully!).

Our existence is so mind blowing to me.... we are living organisms (or so we suppose). Just the mechanics of our bodies is so extensive, that it is easy to get caught up thinking about that. Then you take it one step further, to the mechanics of society, communication, and human interaction. Yikes. Now, go even further. The planet, the solar system. Did these things just occur? If so, how many more are out there? Where; really, is 'out there'? I feel like a tiny ant that is unaware of the big picture.

It is about now that I start to get overwhelmed with the hugeness of this train of thought... and then determine that it doesn't really matter. Even if I AM an ant, could I really ever be anything else? Is it worth the time and effort to extensively try to figure this out? Or is it a good possibility that it never will be figured out? Will we all just march in and out of our existence?

I plan on one day marching right out of mine... and hope that I have lived a long, happy, healthy life. I hope to spend it with the people I love the most (my husband, children, and family), and hope that I accomplish one thing during my existence: that they are without a doubt aware of how much I love them and how much they mean to me; so much so that my entire existence is devoted to them. That is the meaning to my life. They are why I WANT to be here more than anywhere else.... wherever that may be.

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